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  • Jacqui Rosser

Mixed Messages

When I first started writing this blog, I wasn't clear in my own mind what I was going to say or whether I was going to influence or help anyone. I just wanted to get something down on paper. On re-reading them, I realise my previous posts are very serious, which is not a reflection of who I am. I guess I was thinking this is a serious subject and people want to know about how to move forward, so humour is out of the question. That is partly true. I don't think the purpose of a blog though is necessarily to educate but more to share thoughts, feelings and experiences. So that is the direction I'm going in and I will keep the serious stuff to fact sheets.

When I was with my husband, my life was so full of anger and frustration that I kept notebooks, not for posterity but so that I could use them if I needed to in a divorce court. We often talk about our lives being a roller coaster and I loved the comment from another blogger who said that 'living with an alcoholic is sure as hell is not like a roller coaster ride. You get on a roller coaster willingly and are there to enjoy the ride. Living with an alcoholic is like a ride to hell that you never chose to get on' I completely agree with her. I used to call my situation, my hamster wheel. I was going round and round and round and just couldn't get off the damn thing. Good day, bad day, hopeful day, rubbish day and so it continued. Because that's what keeps you there - no consistency and the hope of a better future just around the corner except, I somehow never made it to the corner. He would crash into me before I ever got there. Except, I finally made it. I escaped. That's another story........

Hope springs eternal in the human breast

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